This is not a drill….

First off, I would like to take this as an opportunity to tell you all that I am a fucking PRO!   Currently, I am in Siem Reap, Cambodia and there are just so many bugs, I know, a common complaint of mine, but really, there are a lot.  (It’s sad that I had to go on insta and geotag to remember where I am right now.)  I actually feel like I will turn into a bug…this better not be in god’s plan for me. 

 

The story: 

I am sitting at dinner awaiting my food and legit bugs are coming from everywhere!  They are landing in my water, my White Russian, MY HAIR!!!, and my food.  Obviously I was super grossed out, but all I kept thinking was carpe diem.   I continue with my dinner, like the lady I am, and try to make the best of it.   There are themed dancers during the meal which significantly, but not totally, distract me from the myriad of insects. 

Come the end of the meal, I am more than eager to head back upstairs to my beautiful suite awaiting my return.  I place my key card in front of the door lock and gracefully enter my room, happy to be “home”.  

Right when I enter I see it: a big, dead cricket in the middle of the living room floor.  FUCK NO.  I stare at it for about two minutes plotting my approach.  I think ‘okay, I’ll just flush it’.  I slyly make my way to the bathroom to get some toilet paper to pick this nasty thing up, but right when I approach, the cricket becomes #jesus and decides to resurrect.  This is when the Jackie Chan in me escapes and I run right for the door. 

THE CRICKET IS LITERALLY MOON WALKING AWAY ON IT’S BACK!!!!

I immediately know that I am stuck in shit.  Obviously, it’s time to devise a new plan.  I look around the room for some gadgets and find it.  A glass.  I take the transparent drinkware, approach the sucker, and trap it!  My inner Jackie Chan has returned, which makes me really happy. 

I have to say though in all seriousness that I am very proud of my accomplishment.  I faced my fears head on!  Now I can sleep safe and sound. 

#ShortieRules

 

Here are some pics of my stay in Cambodia:::

  

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