Date Night #2

Okay literally what the fuck?   I just had the best date ever and 3 hours into it the whole thing completely changed.  It was a literal slap in the face!  What happened took me crazy by surprise and I just did not know what to do.  So, obviously when you don’t know what to do you sit in silence for 20 minutes…you know, the normal way to handle things.

So we started the date off great.  He picked me up, we went to the restaurant, had a great time, all was good.  Then we came back to my house, played mancala, got bored, so changed games to loaded questions.  After he “won the game” we decided to just pick up cards and choose the most interesting questions and ask them.  And yes, it was a bit of an altered game of loaded questions, but whatever, it was fun. 

So, we’re playing the game, all is good, when I can tell he is thinking something.  And not just thinking casually, but really thinking.  You know?  A deep, pensive state.  Obviously I make him tell me what he is thinking.   He thinks about his wording for about three minutes, and literally says to me “I just don’t know…I’m really attracted to you, but we are going to college soon and I don’t want anyone to get hurt. I don’t know what to do.”
Well fuck you.  I know what to do: slap slap.  That’s what you get.  Why would you take me out on TWO, not one, TWO DATES to tell me that you are scared to proceed with the relationship because we are about to head off to college.  I literally almost cried.  I felt like I was being broken up with, before anything even happened.   I felt fucking psycho!!! 

So of course, after a great date, when a bomb like that is dropped on you, you just don’t know what to do.  Therefore, my OCD-self kicks in and I just start organizing things in silence to avoid any mention of the words I just heard.  I literally felt like Romeo and Juliet because before he dropped that bomb, he was just telling me how much he liked me and how attractive I was to him.   He’s just like, I like you, but we can’t be together.  

Can you say mind fuck?!  No really say it…I need to know I’m not crazy.  

I mean, I really had no idea what to do.  So of course I left the room.  We headed down stairs and I poured myself a glass of rosé…the only normal thing to do.  I drank the glass then was able to talk.  He finally decided to clarify, and simply said that he was worried that his heart would be “broken again” and blah blah blah…but he did want to take me out again.

The whole thing just made no sense.  One second he was telling me how bad he thought the idea of us was, then the next he was saying how attracted he was to me.  HELLOO?!!  Make up your god damn mind!   
I told him what I told my friends.  I said that if he didn’t kiss me tonight there would not be a third date.  Because hello, I don’t want an undecided guy to be taking me out on pointless dates.   I want a guy who knows what he wants and goes for it.  

Finally he kissed me and all was well, but I can’t help thinking that he will never be able to be fully committed because he is scared.  He just needs to let go of his baby blanket and dive into the real world..because at least in my world there is no room for scardy cats.  



– Short and Serious



    • I know! Tell me about it…I’m still beyond confused about the whole thing!!

  1. Everyone grows at different paces. You’re probably going to hate hearing this (as did I), but you’re both young.

    Word of advice: Don’t take it too seriously.

    Many of the young women I know start freaking out about relationships around your age. Some of us are ready to be in a relationship early. I was similar. I enjoyed knowing where the relationship was going. Others just want to explore and have a good time. Especially during the first two years of college. If for no other reason, because we’re told that’s how we should feel.

    Keep writing. The blog is great and it’s a nice way to vent. Just don’t stress yourself out. In the meantime, we’re creating a blog section on our site. It looks like yours has a lot of potential. If you’re interested in being featured, send us an email.

    – Ja’Mei & The G.U.M Team

    • Thank you so much! I love that you enjoy my blog! I would definitely be open to that and will email you soon!! xx

  2. I think dates are fun, even if they’re not going anywhere, or the relationship is doomed because one of you is moving away. The idea is it’s fun memory that you keep forever.

    It sounds like he was communicating pretty upfront with you. 1. He likes you. 2. He’s scared of developing intense feelings, only to be heart broken when you guys eventually have to seperate.

    I think what he’s probably wanting is for you to _reassure_ him, not be mad at him for being vulnerable.

    • I honestly did not think of it that way, when I totally should have! I do think that is exactly what he wanted, I was just so caught off guard that I really didn’t know how to respond!! Xx thanks for commenting!!!