Finding ‘The One’

So, we all know those guys who just happen to be douchebags, and we also know those guys who are the sweetest babes of all time!  But, what we don’t know is how to spot them.  Here, I am going to tell you exactly what to look out for, and how to find ’em early on.


Okay.  Basically this is how it goes.  I will use myself as the first example.  Every single day, if I could, I would eat Chicken Fingers.  They are my love!  I love them to death…literally.  I could eat them for breakfast, lunch, dinner, and desert.  This right here is, you guessed it, LOVE!  So basically if the guy you are with wants you every second of the day, the same way I want chicken fingers, you have found yourself a keeper.  He will show you his ultimate love and affection, and literally eat you up!

Now, on to cravings.  This is the food that you sometimes want, but sometimes just aren’t in the mood for.  You love it when you have it, you get that full on foodgasm, but after four bites, you are done until next time.  This, for me, is gooey chocolate cake.  I love it to death when I have it, but it gets overwhelming very quickly.   When it comes to guys, this is the one that you MUST avoid!  These are the ones that will charm the heck out of you, just for a little bite, but after he’s had his fix, he’s done and moves onto the next craving.  #BadNews

Besides the cravings we have those “once in a blue moon” type of foods.  This would be Chicken and Waffles.  You like it a lot, but can’t have it every day because it is just too many calories and a little gross after a bit.  You probably can’t even finish the whole plate.  If I need my fix of chicken and waffles I will definitely do my research.  I will find the best and have it, because I know I won’t be having it again for a LONGGGGG time.  From a guys perspective; you may be old friends, say hi when you see each other, but never really speak on the phone or text.  So, you know, that if he texts or calls, he wants your waffles, because we all know he has had plenty of chances in the past.

This last one, might hit a few of you guys in the throat.  This is the hook up.  My food hook-ups tend to be the ones that my friends have been raving about for quite some time.  They have all tried it, and make me want to try it too.  This would be my honey-butter chicken biscuit or my nutella acai bowl: both of which are kind of gross.   Now, if you have been with all of his friends, and he comes up to you at a bar or party, know right now, that he is trying to hook up!!  If you fall into this category I am sure it has happened multiple times cough cough *slut* cough cough.  So if you are looking for anything more than a one night stand, it may be time to re-evaluate.


So there you have it.  The ultimate douchebag/gentleman/keeper classifications based on your desire for food.  You may not agree with what I have to say, but I’m going to give you a hint, it’s all true!  😉


Gonna go find me some chicken fingers now!


Shorty So In LOVE


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