A Stereotypical Twist

Okay, so I know it has been a hella long time since I’ve posted, but what can I say?  I’ve been a little busy doing certain things like college *cough cough* and stuDYING *cough cough*.   I mean, much has happened in just the past few months and yes, I would love to be telling you all about everything, but sometimes there’s really just no time.  However, even though I am pursuing a major in Mechanical Engineering, I have taken a great liking to my, wait for it…english discourse class.  I know, TOTAL SHOCKER!!!  But what can I say, I just really like it.  Maybe the theme of the class, dark humor, really gets me going, but I think I just like to explore through writing.

 

Now, I am not just telling you all this to waste your time, because trust me, I know how valuable that is.  I would like to share with you, however, my final essay for the class.  The teacher gave us the prompt as “write something funny” and then she followed it with “write about a gender stereotype that is true to you, and defend it”.  I don’t really know if she will like my essay or not, but I do want you all to read it and let me know what you think!!!

 

XXXX,

Shortyy

 

 

When you think of women and stereotypes many things should come to mind: good cooks, feminists, secretaries, pageant girls, trophy wives; the list goes on and on.  Now, what do the words “women”, “stereotypes”, and “seven” make you think of?  Probably not a whole lot, but, personally, I think of bad drivers.  I know what you’re thinking: “what on Earth is going on in this girl’s head to make her think of bad drivers?”  Well, as it turns out, seven is the number of times that I have been involved in a car crash while being a licensed driver.  I am leaving out the other time I was in an accident because I still only had my permit, and obviously that just does not count.  More so, every single one of these crashes was one hundred percent my fault.  I do not really know what it is about women and driving, but I do know for sure that the stereotype is true.  We are just innately terrible at it.

So, you may be wondering, how is it that over that course of just 13 months of driving I managed to get in seven car accidents?  I swear on the life of my sister’s stray cat that I am not a reckless driver!  It just so happens that sometimes, when it’s a little too dark outside, or when it’s a little too bright, I forget that I am stopped and release my foot from the break a bit.  From there I slowly roll into the car in front of me, completely unaware of what I have just done.  Some may call this reckless and stupid, but if you think about it, you will see that I am really just trying to show my love.  You know?  Instead of thinking of the collision as an accident, consider it a love tap, as that is truly what it is.  And according to stereotypes, isn’t showing the love another thing that women truly excel at?

There must be something about women and driving, however, that makes this stereotype true.  I mean this specific stereotype has existed for my entire life, and from what I have heard from the elders, it has been around long before my time.  If we go back to the year 1910, when women were not even allowed vote, women did manage make up five percent of the licensed drivers on the road.  By simply being such a minority, jokes regarding road skills were bound to surface.  Even in 1960, men were still the majority drivers on the road, making up 61 perfect.  I mean, given these facts, if you really think about it, it just becomes obvious why women suck at driving: because more men have been doing it for longer.  You know, there is only a finite amount of road skill that exists in the world, and the men have clearly claimed it.  They then pass on their own personal road skill to the next male in their family, obviously to keep the skill in the same gender line.  This means that no matter how hard women practice, they will just never become as talented as men are at driving.  It is just that simple.

Going back to my own personal experience on the road, I have come to notice that no matter how hard I try, I just cannot help myself from being a contemptible driver.  I cannot stay in my own lane, I cannot come to a smooth stop, I cannot accelerate without doing a jack-rabbit start, I cannot make a u-turn, and I cannot change the music station without veering into the oncoming traffic.  Do you know how stressful it is to not be able to make a u-turn?  Instead, I have to turn right three times and go around the block to get to where I want to be.  Now, even though I don’t always see my mom or my girlfriends performing the same driving miscalculations as I do, I just know that they can relate.  It is in our blood.  And there is no way that my mother has acquired some road skill for herself, as I cannot think of any man that would give it to her.  She just must be making these same mistakes when she is alone in the car and nobody is watching.

Given these facts, it should become obvious that the stereotype about women as bad drivers is true and is a very serious problem.  Women are living their lives on the edge every day because of this deficiency of road skill.  If we continue on this trend, by the end of the century, there will be no more women left in the world because we will all have died in vicious car accidents.  I can only be thankful that out of my own seven collisions, the majority of them have been harmless love taps.  However, I still know that if I do not become a better driver soon, the consequences will be fatal; and the same goes for every other woman on the road.  The only way to become better drivers as a whole is to gather together and steal men’s driving skills.  Other than that, there is no hope for any of us.

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